Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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