So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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