And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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