Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
