what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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