i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
