I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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