its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
