But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wish you could order shots online.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
