no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
