dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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