just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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