they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
