weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
