can we get nightvision for the apartment?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Congratulations! We have a period
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
