Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
