so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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