I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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