i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
