i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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