you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
