nut hugger
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
