I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
