It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
This house was built for laser tag.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
