ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
