porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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