I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
