Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
