yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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