either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
