I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
