Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
