It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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