Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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