You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
