i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
