I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
