if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
