super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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