READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
