so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
