Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
