She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
