Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
