i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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