She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
