I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
