I want to stick my p in your. b.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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