it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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