It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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