is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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